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Is Electronic Music & Dance Culture Spiritual? |
The electronic music and
dance scene has long flirted with the idea of spiritual
connections. Names of events such as "Spiritual
Signals," record companies such as "Conscious Records,"
and spiritual imagery like buddhas and mandalas are
often in flyers for and in graphics at events.
Underground as well as so-called massive events often
have meditation areas and a shrine or altar. And let's
face it, many of us have had deeper religious
experiences at a full moon rave or a good night at
Spundae than we ever had in church.
What is this is all about? Is the dance scene a
spiritual scene? And what does that mean to us as the
members of the community? Do we care, or would we rather
just dance?
The word "spiritual" has been abused and overused by
religion, cults, and New Agers, and many of our
generation are turned off by the word. Many of us have
turned away from religion for its insistence on old and
mythical ways of interpreting the world that often
ignore scientific progress and common sense. And many of
us have turned away from any sense of the sacred in our
own lives, often leaving us with materialistic
desolation and post-modern meaninglessness. This is not
the kind of spirituality I'm talking about here, though.
I speak of Spirit in terms of a Creative Energy that
pervades all of reality. In fact, you could say it is
the Suchness of reality, for the Energy I refer to spun
itself from itself into the myriad of forms of creation
we have. This Suchness exists in different forms at all
levels: matter, body, mind, soul. It is the pure
expression of that Energy -- Spirit in itself -- that is
realized through the consciousness of human awareness.
One could call that God, Allah, Yaweh or the Tao; it
doesn't matter, because the idea is the same -- there is
something going on besides our individual preoccupations
of the day and our small selves, and waking up to what
that is is simply the quest of the spiritual path.
To answer the original question, "Is electronic music
and dance culture spiritual?" It is and it isn't. On the
one hand, we can say a cautious and qualified yes. There
are genuine spiritual elements in the scene, and this
whole movement has enormous potential to be a greater
expression of Spirit than any movement since a
generation of young people woke up to break a lot of
outdated ways of being in the 60's. Social action and
raving? We're not quite there yet, but it's on its way.
We've seen both sides and sometimes lived both sides.
The beauty of the scene is its celebration of living.
There is a goodness and value in the dance culture that
is at a different level than any other genre or culture
of young people. The connection, the insights, the power
that we feel on the dance floor lives on in our workday
and our home life. The lessons we learn on the dance
floor, the insights we have, become a part of our
selves.
A lot of people have experienced what could be called a
spiritual awakening -- a level of joy and freedom on the
dance floor that has given them a taste of that Force.
The temptation to go out may have been a certain DJ, the
perfect music, or even a substance, but the catalyst
that strengthens us all is always good people dancing
together. That Force, that Spirit, is bigger than our
individual selves, and we access it by the opening up of
our consciousness as one might do in meditation. Those
who find that Force through substances may think it is
just drug-induced, but ultimately, a drug is just a
gate, you can go through sober or not (and many people
have access to this awakening without ever using
substances).
This glimpse, however fleeting, can prick the curiosity
of spiritual "seeking," or put another way, motivate us
toward accelerated evolution in action. Our peak
experiences while dancing, spinning or listening are not
just a great expression of living fully, they can also
open the door to us becoming better people through work
on ourselves and waking up to our own issues that we
suck in and spit out on the world.
On the other hand, you can make a case for the "isn't,"
that our scene is not really spiritual. The dance scene
is rife with escapism from reality, shady characters,
fragile egos and broken hearts. Some people are
attracted to what they think is a drug culture, and
there are some who just should not be doing drugs, or
not so many.
We have all seen club burnouts who would benefit from
less clubbing and more of something else in their lives.
We may have even seen young teens appearing as though
they have taken on more than they could handle. Even
when done in the name of PLUR (peace,love, unity and
respect), it's just a different form of unconsciousness,
much like alcohol abuse. It's the same game, but on a
different path. In my experience these are the people
who would be doing too much of what was around in any
scene they were in, whether it's a reggae concert, a
frat party, or a rave. It's not the rave that makes this
kind of person, but it's inevitable it will attract
them. I've found though from being at many different
kinds of events these people are a very small (but
unfortunately noticeable) minority. It's also easy
though to find club elitism, commercialism,
business-minded ruthlessness, greed, and your
run-of-the-mill clueless-ness. As the scene becomes more
of a business opportunity for some, the dangers of
corruption increase.
Will we be able to avoid squandering our potential and
power for change? Can we get the positive aspects of
spirituality out of the scene, and avoid the negative
side? I believe we certainly can and the irresponsible
actions of a few should not sabotage what is altogether
a very positive and safe way for people to gather and
have fun together. It certainly has not warranted the
war on our scene we have watched evolve in the past few
years.
Most of us bring the positive spirituality into our
daily lives in both little and great ways. But there are
also many traps of yearning, emotional numbing, ego,
money, and mass appeal that can suck the soul out of the
scene as they have in other forms of co-opted youth
culture present today. Is it possible to avoid these
pitfalls as the scene becomes more popular, commercial,
and the market forces continue to pick up on the
potential for money to be made? It may be a perilous
path ahead; we need to proceed with our eyes wide open.
Stay tuned for the next conversation (in, not out).
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The Vibe Discussion |
Welcome back to the
conversation. Last we spoke we agreed that our dance and
music scene had a number of what could be called
'spiritual' elements. And we also admitted that there
were a number of elements that are not 'spiritual' at
all. (Check out the previous column if you haven't
already.)
Let's briefly review what we meant by the word
'spiritual,' because it is such a loaded word isn't it?
When I use the word, I simply mean a sense of connection
to a creative Force greater than our individual sense of
self. This Force can be thought of as the permeating
energy, and suchness of reality. It is accessible to us
in its myriad of forms at a number of levels. Most
powerfully and directly, we can access it through our
conscious awareness. Put simply, when we really pay
attention to the nature of reality and our relationship
to it, we notice that there's more to life than the
accumulation of wealth, power and pleasurable
experiences. The quest of the spiritual path is the
awakening of what is beyond those other experiences.
With that in mind, let's talk about "the vibe." The vibe
is that intangible but unmistakable flavor of a party.
It is that which you breathe into your open senses when
at an event, when you are out to have fun, and to be
with others. And it is that which YOU breathe into the
vibe.
We are not passive participants in what the vibe at a
party is; we are IT, collectively. In the same way you
can't say you are not society (if it's not you, who is
it? If you voluntarily remove yourself from it, that's
on you), you can't say you are not the vibe. Every
participant is the vibe, from the DJ (who admittedly,
has a more influential role) to the dancer, to the
spectator. The guy curled up on the couch is the vibe.
The girl checking her makeup in a mirror is the vibe.
The dancer in the boa is the vibe. The promoter standing
at the back bar watching his party develop is the vibe.
What we bring is who we are as individuals. How we are
influenced as individuals by the collective vibe is what
we create as a group. A positive group vibe is very
powerful. It is considered to be synergistic, greater
than the sum of its parts. Parties with a fixed number
of people, like a Red Melon boat party, for instance,
are special in that you can predict who you will be
spending your evening with, you know that everyone is in
it together, and therefore that journey becomes somewhat
of a more intimate affair.
What you bring to a vibe is simply an expression of who
you are. To bring a good vibe, you've gotta have a good
vibe! This may be stating the obvious, but how many
times have you been at an event with someone complaining
about the vibe, completely unaware that they are
bringing it down through their negative attitude? Now of
course, sometimes this is warranted, but many times it's
that same insipid passivity that happens at all levels
of society happening at an event. You complain about the
president but you didn't vote (OK, bad example, the
winner didn't get the most votes), or, you bemoan the
state of dance culture while not supporting events
trying to rectify your complaints.
What we come back to in this example is to ask, what are
you doing about you? Are you interested in bettering
yourself through personal work so as to be a more
positive expression of whatever you do, be it dancing,
loving, or working? Or, is the scene just your flavor of
escape for this segment of your life? I know it has been
both for me, and getting atop the soapbox is not my
intention, so let's just ponder these matters together.
So what if we are interested in ourselves as tools of
expression, what then? What if we are willing to look at
what we bring to a vibe? Well, I would say the first
step is to gather some data to see where to go from
there. This is most simply done in two ways: paying
attention, and looking at yourself reflected in the
relationships in your life.
Paying attention means being attentive to your own inner
experience throughout the day and night. Do you ever sit
back and watch the flow of consciousness as it
incessantly chatters inside your thoughts? You are able
to step back and watch these things, and because
thoughts are objects of awareness, they are not "you."
(You *have* thoughts, but YOU are not your thoughts,
anymore than you are your foot).
Thoughts are objects of sensory awareness like taste,
sound etc., although they are more interesting because
we identify with our thoughts at an "I" level in more
intense ways than we identify with other senses. Step
back and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings
every once in a while. Listen and notice how you talk to
yourself, how you judge others, how you assume and
interpret with very little information so fast you take
truth for granted. It's amazing what we notice.
This kind of self-observation can be done through
meditation, or many other ways that allows for simple
noticing and awareness. I have an easier time doing this
while I'm dancing because the music clears my head of
thought and I'm able to more starkly notice thoughts
that come in. I call these states my "Nikita Sessions,"
where I am usually doing my exercise in dancing
self-awareness. Yoga, running, bike riding, therapy,
being in nature, martial arts and many other tools
exist; find one that is right for you, do it, and don't
be afraid to face what you see. And, just as important,
don't be afraid to get help either.
Relationships can give us another level of information
if we are willing to look at them. The "we" that we
think we are is only the "we" we are in relation to our
perception of ourselves. And, no surprise here, this is
not an objective perception.
What kind of friend are we? What kind of lover are we?
What kind of son or daughter, father or mother are we?
How do we treat the boss compared to how we treat the
janitor at our work? How do we treat the security guard
compared to how we treat the DJ? This is the "we" that
we are in relationship, and that is just as much "us" as
our own biased self-concept. This is the "you" that
others see, and you can't ignore that. Everyone in our
lives is just playing their role, doing their job, and
it is natural that we aren't going to treat everyone the
same.
I'm not suggesting we can't make qualitative
distinctions, or that there's not anything wrong. I'm
just saying it will be educational for you to see which
observations and distinctions you make. We'd probably
agree that the scene has a high per-capita ratio of
flaky people in it. Whatever the reason, it's true, and
as the powers-that-be continue to try to squeeze us out
of existence, we are going to need everyone to step up
and be a part of the many solutions to be had, and not
passive observers in the vibe. Consider it a
collective-self-awareness call-to-arms in the interest
of saving the scene (and hey, let's face it, the
planet). Want to change the world, the society, the
scene? You are already all those things, so it makes
sense to start with yourself. It matters. Despite all
the distractions in 21st century American society, it
really does matter.
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The Collective |
Welcome back to the
conversation. In the last column we mused about what the
individual brings to the vibe at a party or event. I
suggested that if this is important to you, it would be
beneficial to look at what you bring to the vibe. What
you bring is obviously yourself, and the quality of that
self will have an effect on the collective vibe. Work on
yourself through an honest and open look at your
relationships and the ways in which you process the
world through your thoughts are a good place to begin if
you're interested in any level of self improvement. Part
2 of the vibe discussion will be a lighter look at the
collective vibes at 3 kinds of events as observed by
yours truly.
For a novice in the scene, put them in front of some
good speakers bumping any form of house or electronic
music and they can be happy, especially if they are
high. New comers to the scene often think they have to
be high to have fun because they were often high the
first time they experienced the "full effect." If they
stick around they of course find that this is not the
case, fun comes in many forms. As people develop their
discerning taste of music and crowds, the vibe becomes
much more important to them. You can often feel the vibe
before you ever step foot in the party. You've got an
idea from your past experience with a given party or
venue, the flyer, the crowd waiting to get in, and who
you're with. Expectations create the vibe more than
people give credit. The three events discussed below
will be massives, weeklies here in the city in the
larger clubs, and underground parties.
Walking into a recent massive in Southern California, I
was ready to be mad. I was upset by their rules at not
allowing people to bring in sealed water (which they did
end up allowing the day of the show). I was also
frustrated with the long and intrusive search the guard
in my line happened to be doing. (After suspecting my
friend had something on him and were taking him to the
police for a more thorough search, he luckily tossed me
his stash unbeknownst to Supercop after I had already
gone through clean. Good try Supercop). What was most
frustrating to me though throughout the event had
nothing to do with security or rules, it was the
spectators who stand immobile in the crowd gawking at
the DJ while some of us try to dance (there should
really be a rule against that)! I walked in there with
my own vibe and I'm sure my complaining was a drop in
the collective negative bucket. And, I wasn't alone.
After Oakenfold's set was only an hour, interrupted 5
times by the wind knocking the needle off the record
(talk about putting a 'ding' in my 'wa' ), the crowd at
the main stage was pissed. They kept booing every time
another James Brown song would start in between sets,
signifying another delay in Jane's Addiction starting.
This sentiment had nothing to do with it being a harder
crowd cause of Jane's, it was because we felt like we
were not getting our monies worth. The negativity was
palpable and I really thought it might get ugly. Luckily
Jane's rocked everyone's world and we forgave. Leaving
the main stage after Jane's, there was an army of
crunching feet as hundreds of water bottles were
trampled underfoot. It was an eerie sound and I thought
to myself, this is our scene... Do we know how to use a
garbage can?
I've been a frequent patron of some of the weeklies here
in the city that happen in the larger clubs. Like many,
I have lamented the downward spiral of the vibe and the
crowd in some of these parties. Parties that used to
have a fantastic vibe week in and week out have had
difficulty pulling in the same vibe and crowd despite
bringing in world class talent week in and week out.
(Although I must say, there has been a significant
improvement in the vibe at some of these parties as of
late.) Most blame the down turn on the security concerns
in some clubs, on "bridge and tunnel" patrons, and those
who seem to be coming to these clubs to just drink a lot
and hit on women, often in a very disrespectful manner.
I don't mind the searches that take place at some
venues, if you want to do something illegal, don't do it
at the club. I do mind the 12 to 2a crowd standing
around looking to get their mack on, or the sweaty guy
who rubs against me in his wife beater tank top as he
barrels across the dance floor never saying excuse me as
he looks for his homies. This is certainly not the
security's fault. Some of the problems in some clubs are
because of overzealous security, but some places have
had to resort to such tactics just to keep their doors
open. Some problems though were brought on by its
patrons. People doing illegal things in a given club,
people not able to stay composed and respectful, or
drunken idiots that get into fights, all bring negative
attention on some of our favorite clubs. We as patrons
have to take responsibility where it lies with us and
keep each other cool so our favorite spots don't get
closed or trampled on. We in the scene who have seen it
work at its best, often relinquish some of our favorite
spots when it gets run over by a crowd we don't like as
much. We don't want to be in the role of educating
someone we see as in it for the wrong reasons. We often
retreat to private and underground parties that are word
of mouth and strictly pre-sale.
Some underground events I have been to in the city have
hands down the best vibes to be found anywhere at an
event in the Bay Area. They are often thrown by a
collective of underground communities who volunteer
their time to bring a more specific level of
intentionality to their events than just good music and
people, although that of course is there. They do things
like stopping the party at midnight to do a ceremony
presencing the event and why we have come together, send
around nourishment platters throughout the night, and
make a very specific effort to not pack their parties
despite the money that could be brought in. It works
magically, and it works because they draw from that
selective crowd and their friends who miss or who are
looking for that certain kind of vibe. However, let's
face it, no one could make their living off these
parties as other promoters must do with their weekly or
monthly parties. The selectiveness is a luxury they can
afford because of the infrequency of the event and the
money factor being out of the picture. If they happened
every week , inevitably the vibe would take a down turn.
So how do we bring people into the scene in a way that
doesn't corrupt what is good in it? The best case
scenario is if we could let them in in small doses so
they can be overwhelmed with the positivity of a crowd
instead of the crowd being diluted by the negativity of
a few. But not only is that not realistic, it's elitist
by those (admittedly, like me at times) who think they
are in the "know" of how things "should" be. Beware
those who are convinced they are in the know, for real
thinking stops with conclusions. I've heard many
snobbish remarks (and probably made some!) from people
when they don't like the crowd somewhere. As best you
can, I'd say bring your positive group of friends, find
a corner where you can actually dance without bumping
into spectators, and be a positive and infectious force
at an event. Every one person makes a difference.
Or of course, you might convince your local promoter to
create a dancing only zone on the dance floor where a
Shake Your Ass patrol would ask spectators to move to a
spectator zone...
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Music as Meditation - If You Feel Like It |
Welcome back to the
conversation. Remember that all Syd Gris thoughts and
musings are not new at all, but have been said before by
somebody else at some point. Believe nothing, ponder or
act if you feel like it. The Buddha had some nice things
to say about truth. He said don't accept anything just
because a lot of people seem to say so, or because of
tradition, or because it is in a book, seems logical or
reasonable, or because you assume or infer, or because
it has been thought out and theorized, or because the
speaker (or writer) seems competent. Those are nice
guidelines, so what does that leave us to hold on to?
Nothing really, but that's for another time. For now we
are talking about meditation and music.
Why would we want to talk about that you might be
asking? I just want to dance and not get heavy with it,
you say. I reply, excellent, dance lightly my friend and
save a spot for me, sometimes I think too much.
Nevertheless, this is a column exploring the wide range
of spirituality in the dance culture, as well as its
absence in many cases. To know what I mean by spirit,
please check back to Column #1. As you know, meditation
is the staple of many spiritual traditions, both East
and West. It is the tool by which people have been
seeking enlightenment for thousands of years. If we are
to believe the sages through history (not forgetting the
Buddha's guidelines), many have been successful at this
endeavor and have taught others how to do the same.
Acknowledging that meditation is the staple of the path,
the pursuit of spirit can take many forms, so you have
many options to connect with spirit while you are
dancing. Many of you already know what I'm talking
about. You have experienced those moments on the dance
floor in which you entered "the zone." Your thoughts
dropped away and your own body's awareness took over and
flowed with a beat. It grooved in a way that the
separation between your "self" and the surrounding
reality -- within and without you -- fell away. You
might say "you" got out of the way to let your natural
sense of presence be in its entirety. Even if only for a
moment, you leaned into eternity, that sense of infinity
that does not exist in the future, but instead exists in
the present --right now, at this very awakened moment.
But then it was gone. Maybe it was so fleeting it passed
like a whisper, maybe you attributed it to your
particular mind state in that moment or the fat track
that Jonathan just played.
You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the
peak experience of being that we get to glimpse at
different times in our lives. You've got a good sense
that this is a signpost towards what is possible with
consciousness. That maybe having an independent and
fortified ego is not all there is to development. Yet
that kind of development is all that many Western
approaches to development, be they psychological or
religious, provide. It's part of the reason the world is
so screwed up. Our technical evolution has far outpaced
the evolution of our consciousness. We don't seem to
collectively have the quality of awareness needed to be
responsible with our technology. Bumping around in the
dark with weapons and biotech. Scary stuff, and we need
to play catch up. All of us. This is why we are talking
of music and meditation.
In the Theravada tradition of Buddhism, which flourishes
especially in Thailand, Burma, Vietnam, Laos and
Cambodia, there are two general approaches to
meditation. One is Samantha, or concentration, and the
other is Vispassana, or insight. In Samantha, the
meditator picks an object of concentration to allow for
singular focus on one object. This might be a candle, a
mantra, a mandala, etc. This allows the mind to quiet in
order to develop concentration for the future work of
insight. Vispassana is more associated with the
moment-to-moment awareness and transitory insight into
sensory phenomenon. Smell, touch, thought, feeling, etc.
At its simplest, it is moment-to-moment attention on
breath, the basis of living, with a noting of any
sensory input that interferes with that attention.
Planning, remembering, ruminating, and then the deeper
forms of clinging, seeking, searching, grasping onto
things to fortify our sense of self . These are all just
distractions from the clear contact with reality that
occurs when we are really present.
Dancing and the music we love is a great focus for
Samantha. In the same way a candle can be a visual point
of concentration to quiet the mind, so too can the 4/4
of a great progressive track be an auditory focus. Music
has always been used by people to reach higher levels of
consciousness in drumming, chanting, singing, and
instrument. Because of the repetitive beats and loops,
as well as the sonic heights and emotional pulls of many
songs we love, dance music is a perfect tool for
meditation. When you lock into a certain aspect of a
song and allow it to be your total point of
concentration, you clear the mind as you might sitting
in a monastery in the Thai jungle.
Of course, these monasteries generally don't have
bouncing pretty girls in pig tails, young guys dancing
in wide-legged pants, or glow sticks (illegal in some
states, mind you), and Vodka Red Bulls (legal
everywhere). The dancing experience offers a tad more
distraction so let's not kid ourselves.
We're not at church. (Not in the traditional sense of
course. Some of my more radiant nights have felt like
21st century church.) It might be easier to create focus
and concentration with your eyes closed. Visual input
creates a lot of thoughts, and thought invades clarity.
When clarity is invaded, we are less present to the now
we are living. When we are missing out on the now that
we are living, we are missing out on feeling the
connection with the greater spirit. I know that I don't
want to miss out, especially when I'm having such a
great night. Learning how to return to a point of
concentration over and over within a song and simply
continue to let go of thoughts as they enter, rather
than be hooked by them, increases your capacity for
mindfulness, to see things as they truly are, right now,
in the present, at that moment.
How many great nights have you had that have been
sullied simply by thinking too much? You literally
couldn't get in the groove because your chattering mind
unsettled you so. Me too of course. Practicing focus in
order to quiet the mind will lead to a development and
evolution of consciousness. Perhaps this practice will
help humanity survive, perhaps not. Certainly, though,
there's more to see when you make a conscious effort to
be mindful and concentrate. So check it out, give it a
try. You're out there dancing most weekends anyway,
right? And that's only if you feel like it. But hey,
don't believe it just cause I said so.
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The Benefit of
Benefits |
Like everyone else, I
have been feeling a wide range emotions since Tuesday,
September 11th. The cycle of shock, disbelief,
wonderment, sadness, anger, pity, hope, connection,
fear, and so on has been moving through me to varying
degrees. I'm sure it has for a lot of you as well. After
I took a class in college solely about the Holocaust, I
told myself I would never underestimate the range of
horrible things people can do to each other. It's easy
to forget when it's not in your face, especially if
you're like me and avoid the nightly news of murder,
traffic jams, and the activities of an illegitimate
president.
This is compounded by the fact that in many ways we live
in a bubble here in the Bay Area. It's got its share of
problems of course. But, it also has a high density of
beautiful places, tolerant and open minded people,
wealth, and fun to be had. We live what some would
regard as the pinnacle of the American Dream. It's the
real world to us, but it not representative of what's
out there, America and beyond, in the so called real
world. If you look at the pyramid of needs for survival,
many of have the bottom layers covered. We have food,
shelter, safety, belongingness to some semblance of
community, and love. Without the rigors of daily
survival as our toil, we have the luxury of
contemplation, the luxury to party and dance, to take
vacations and travel. With those bases covered, I think
it's the responsibility of us that have the luxury of
contemplation to do something with our time to help
others get their as well.
That means contributing in the smallest or most profound
ways to the plight of your fellow human. If you're not
contributing to the potential of your community,
immediate or otherwise, you are taking up space and
simply taking from those around you. Goodness comes in
the simplest ways. I'm not taking about starting a huge
protest movement or giving all your paycheck to the
overweight ladies' childrens fund that makes you feel
guilty at 3 in the morning as you're eating your Ben &
Jerry's and their showing pictures of starving kids. I'm
talking about whatever way you find to cultivate some
love and kindness in the world. It means being a good
mother, a good brother, a good garbage man (or woman), a
friendly security guard, a wonderful gardener, a person
whose job helps others in some ways, or a computer
programmer that volunteers their off time with needy
kids. Everyone has something to offer, regardless of
occupation. I hear disdain from those that make fun of
lawyers or stock brokers who take a weekend meditation
retreat. At least they're using their wealth to evolve
themselves in a way that may make them more conscious
people. Better than nothing.
So it was that that in the last 2 weeks I have been very
proud to a be a witness to, or a part of some, benefits
to help those hurt by the attack on September 11th.
Benefits in the local dance community are nothing new.
Even before the tragedies in New York, Washington, and
Pennsylvania, benefits happened quite often. In the last
year I know of benefits for Project Open Hand, Toys for
Tots, Green Peace, the SFLNC, Seneca Center (a local
non-profit serving abused kids), the Electronic Music
Defense Fund, the SF Aids Project, Lyric, and many more
I'm sure I didn't hear about. This is a beautiful thing,
for many reasons.
At the most basic level, it is the scene mobilized to do
good in the community and the world. We should because
we can. Although it's certainly a lot of work to put
together any kind of party or event, it's easier to get
a venue, DJ, and sound system, than it is to set up
something for a live band to play. The costs are lower,
pool of talent is easier to draw from, and the profits
are easier to come by, because of the lower over head. A
lot of people in the scene are making money off of the
dance culture. Whether it be DJ's, club owners,
promoters, record shop owners, bartenders, or the glow
stick factory, they have certainly worked hard and
deserve to get something back from what they have put
into it. But they also, in my humble opinion, have an
obligation to give something back when it is reasonable
to do so. Why? Because it's the right thing to do,
that's why. If everyone in the world did more little
things to help, big changes would happen.
At another level, you could say benefits are an
expression of giving and help that both aids people and
represents what is different about the dance culture
than other similar sub-grouped cultures. I know nobody
likes to be categorized, but you are, so it's best to
know how that is working and act accordingly. Dance
culture needs to represent itself well because there are
so many elements working against it. It's no secret
there has been a war on so called "rave" culture under
the guise of a war on drugs. Promoters have been jailed
and harassed for throwing parties because the police
assume that people are taking drugs because the parties
exist. Obviously the logic requires no commentary, but
these are the facts. If the culture is really going to
be anything about peace, love, unity, and respect, there
must be action in the real world and not just catchy
sayings that create a feel good vibe when the world is
falling apart around us. A frequent criticism of the
sixties social movements were that many people were too
high on drugs and idealism to operate in the real world.
There may be some merit to that, but let's not forget
the counter assault by the government on social change
entities of the sixties (the Chicago police's dawn raid
on sleeping members of the Black Panthers, killing many
of them in their beds, being a good example.) I see the
dance culture as a silent social movement of people
coming together to create community through celebration
and relationships. It doesn't have a direct political
agenda, but it has political potential if people want to
apply the lessons of positive community and positive
experience to the choices they make every day.
The plethora of benefits that occurred in the last 2
weeks to help the victims and their families of the
disaster was awesome. A wide range of promoters,
artists, and clubs got together and raised tens of
thousands of dollars for disaster relief. I would be
shocked if there was another city in the country whose
dance community raised more money to help people than we
raised here in the Bay Area. We have a thriving scene of
dancers and talent to make it happen, so it only fitting
that we did. I'm actually skeptical that people's
choices on parties to attend had as much to do with it
being a benefit as it did the DJ who was playing or the
venue, but in some ways I don't care. Good was done, and
we had a good time doing it. To me that's a snapshot of
the whole purpose of living. However, we still must be
conscious of taking the opportunities to support
benefits even if it doesn't fit all of our going out
criteria, for it helps people and it represents what is
good in the scene. What we do here has a ripple effect
on the entire world, and of course vice versa. By
remembering our collective power, as well as our
connection to what I call Spirit, or source, or the
original creative energy; we have the ability to
actualize tremendous deeds in the world. And because we
can, we should.
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Political Action & the Search for Truth |
Welcome back to the
conversation. Last we spoke we discussed the use of
benefits within the scene to do good in the community
and the world. To anyone who recently supported a local
dance/ benefit event--bravo to you. How we choose to act
in this world, whether it be where we spend our dollar
or how we conduct ourselves in relationship, says a lot
about who we are and what we propagate or discourage in
our society. Life is made of a series of moment to
moment choices, each seemingly small but strung together
form the shape and course of our lives. The choices we
make have a lot to do with our perception of what we
understand to be true, so let's discuss truth shall we?
Oh that's juicy Syd but why here? Well I'm glad (as
always) you asked. The SFLNC is a political ACTION
committee, meaning of course it takes action in the
world to forward the cause to which it has undertaken-
the continued growth and thriving of a late night dance
and music culture in the Bay Area. As socially conscious
dancers and members of the scene, let's think about how
what shapes our choices of action, shall we? Great idea
Syd!
Once again-how we choose to act in the world has a lot
to do with what we take to be truth. But how do we know
truth? This is a larger discussion (much) but let's
start with the basics. There are many kinds of truth,
some objective, some subjective. You could tell me it's
snowing outside, and I can confirm that truth assertion
by looking outside. You can tell me you are feeling sad,
and I'll have to take your word for it. You might be
lying to me, which can be confirmed either by your own
self disclosure, or by an accumulation of social cues
lessening your credibility as a sad person. (You're
acting what in our cultural context better matches
"happy"). Worse though, you might be lying to yourself,
in which case neither of us will know you are lying for
sure until you have some level of insight brought on by
reflection, conversation, therapy, inner work, a good
Nikita session, or simple growth and maturity.
So before we go too far into how to know truth, an age
old question many have answered far better than I ever
could (but I'll try anyway-next month), let's discuss
the nature of truth and the perils of standing too
firmly in your own conclusions or too far out of them.
This will be a bit longer than our other discussions but
bear with me, we're talking truth here ya know? There's
a prize at the end of the column. (Don't cheat or it
won't work...)
The search for truth is the most basic drive of what we
call spiritual inquiry, yet this seemingly benevolent
endeavor is filled with peril. Why are we talking about
spiritual inquiry again? Cause that's that this column
is about that's why! Please read on. The word that best
describes the pursuit of truth to me is certainly
paradox. Paradox is the presence of two seemingly
contradictory statements both being true. Like cold
fire, or good polka. Let's break down two approaches to
truth that illustrate two ways of looking at things and
we'll then understand better the role of paradox.
One approach to truth is the relativist/post-modern
position, that there is no absolute truth; but all truth
is contextual and bracketed by experience. The other is
the universalist position, which of course believes that
there is absolute truth. In this approach, there is
truth that is universal, accessible, and timeless. It
can be considered Ultimate, in that the gnosis revealed
is of the very ultimate concern of our spiritual
consciousness. Direct and unmediated access to the
energy of the Divine, Ground of Being, etc. is possible
through the proper method of the complete deconstruction
of conditioned consciousness. This Radical Truth despite
being eternal, is not fixed but "dymanic." Radical Truth
itself is said to be formless, timeless, spaceless,
changeless; its various forms, however, the various
ideas, symbols, images and thoughts we use to represent
it, ceaselessly change and evolve. Wordy but you get the
idea right? It's what religion is built on, often of
course with terrible results for humanity.
Others assert that there can be no truth unmediated by
experience. The experience of Radical Truth, the actual
apprehension, (though reportedly eneffable), according
to relativists, if it happened, would happen shaped by
concepts which the person brings to, and shapes his or
her experience. In this approach there can be no truth
outside of context. Taken to its extreme, there is no
such thing as truth, only contexts. (Except of course,
the truth that is no absolute truth. Problematic, don't
you think...?)
Nevertheless, prior knowledge, can, and often is an
impediment to the search for truth. Let us hear from the
sage Krishnamurti, who at times sounds like a post
modern champion and other times a true Universalist.
"How can you seek out that which you do not know? You
know, or think you know, what God is, and you know
according to your conditioning, or according to your own
experience, which is based on your conditioning; so,
having formulated what God is, you proceed to 'discover'
that which your mind has projected. This is obviously
not search; you are merely pursuing what you already
know. Search ceases when you know, because knowing is a
process of recognition, And to recognize is an action of
the past, of the known."
Often, when we search, we are still motivated by the
personal self that wants to know truth and to act in
society. The motivations may be more noble than than the
venture capitalist, but the end is one and the same,
feeding the personal self to greatness and vanity.
Krishnamurti again: "There is no difference except in
words, between the man who meditates and practises a
discipline in order to attain the other shore, and the
man who works hard to fulfill his wordly ambition. Both
are ambitious, both are greedy, both are concerned with
themselves." With this in mind, how are we to proceed
with the pursuit of truth and action in society from a
position of not knowing?
First off of course you've got to have some level of
self knowledge, knowing yourself and understanding the
filters through which you take in the world. We've
discussed this before in past columns so I won't bore
you again with my thoughts on this, you get the idea.
From a foundation of self knowledge, taking a stand for
truth is a crucial ingredient for action. What shall I
do? Well, that all depends on what you take to be true
now doesn't it? Taking a stand is an important part of
advancing the pursuit of truth, for it gives us a
reference point to refute and support.
At the same time though, we must maintain a dual
awareness of not-knowing. We must keep in the front of
our mind that we may very well be completely wrong, that
our assertions have fallen into the trap of context as
described by the relativists or the trap of ego and
selfishness as described by Krishnamurti. The noblest of
truths can be contextual and limited to the situation or
historical circumstances of the time. Take for instance
Mahatma Gandhi, political revolutionary and holy man.
Gandhi took a firm non-violence position in his efforts
toward social change, and he led India to independence
against a superpower without using his influence for
violence. His contemporary, Sri Aurobindo, a famous sage
in his own right, did not share the same stance of
absolute non-violence, and his support for the Allied
resistance against Hitler and the Axis powers was
absolutely correct. Though Gandhi's ideal can be thought
of as "higher" in some ways, the toll on humanity had
the Axis powers not been defeated (with violence as an
obviously necessary tool) greater evils would surely
have been done than were already perpetrated on so many
lives. Please don't take this reference as an
endorsement of our current war. Hindsight is of course
20/20, and I'm taking advantage of that fact.
Taking a stand for truth is both necessary and correct,
but it must co-exist that to be convinced your right is
the end of inquiry, the premature end of the search.
Knowing this, it may be better to see truth as "truly"
dymanic, and like we think of the Divine, non-static.
Methods and models can be helpful for our cognitive mind
to begin to grasp the journey of moment to moment truth
apprehension, but as both Krishnamurti, as well as
others have reminded us, it can be an obstacle as well.
It means we must hold what we know lightly.
Whooo. Glad you hung in there. What's the prize you ask?
I stand in I-don't-know, so as to be open to the
illumination of the prize in my consciousness. Or, maybe
I'm just more confused than when I started.
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Trends and Predictions for the SF Scene in 2k2 |
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Why Gen-X is Gen-X |
Apr 25, 2002 Syd Gris
(sydg@earthlink.net)
This weekend they found the
body of Layne Staley, former vocalist for Alice in
Chains, dead in his apartment. It's appears another
heroin casualty and another figure of our generation
passing on prematurely. It made me think about the rise
and fall of grunge, the state of music today and the
rise of electronica. The sad state of pop music today is
fueling the rise of the dance and music scene and we're
gonna reflect on that together shall we?
Like
many of you I am a child of the 80's. Grew up with
Reagan, mullets, Heavy Metal and New Wave, and checkered
vans. The 80's were one of the worst decades on record
as far as most historians are concerned, and I have to
agree with them wholeheartedly. The only good thing that
came out of the 80's was hip hop, Jane's Addiction and
U2. The 90's saw a second coming of fresh sounds
personified by the intelligent combination of thoughtful
lyrics and sounds such as Bauhaus, and the rock guitar
base of Zeppelin to give it some balls. Jane' Addiction
opened up the door to this kind of alternative music and
a burst of bands came crashing in that door. Most
notably of course Nirvana, Sound Garden, Smashing
Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam,
the Red Hot Chilli Peppers (around of course before all
this, but didn't hit it big until "Under the Bridge"),
and other guitar based bands. We could relate to this
music because they had a sensitivity to politics and
emotion, to our hopes and dreams in ways t The
shallow New Wave and the dark or glammy Metal did not.
It was Lollapalooza, flannel, and the beginning of the
hip hop-rock fusion we see so much of today. (Aerosmith
and Run DMC, as well as Anthrax and Public Enemy, can be
credited for that because of their collaborations.)
The majority of these bands have broken up, somebody
died, and/or they are just laying low. It has created a
vacuum for good music that has that sense of grit and
intelligence, emotion and muscle. Many of my friends can
only wait for the next Radiohead or U2 album to come out
to have anything to look forward to. There is a plethora
of crap on the radio the likes of Blink 182, Backstreet
Boys, Britney, Limp Biskit, and others personify.
Thus, thank god for electronica. The rise of this
music can very easily be traced to a number of factors,
one of which is the drought of good music that comes out
from the traditional pop or rock band these days. It was
right around '97 and '98 the remaining bands defining
this sound were fading out, and there were a bunch of
English DJ's waiting to take their place. We like our
rock stars. We like to come together and pump our fists.
We like to share music and experience with a lot of
people and hey, we like to party together. Though they
haven't reached the status of the MTV stars, you can bet
Sasha and Digweed, Paul Oakenfold, Timo Maas and the
other heavy weights are on their way. The music industry
has caught on there is money to be made and they are
working to make your favorite DJ a bigger star. It sells
more tickets, CD's, T-shirts, and the like.
This
is not to say it's a bad thing. It is what it is. Some
will have positive effects on the scene, much of it will
have negative effects on the scene. This is also not to
say that electronica couldn't have risen in the presence
of more good music that appeals to the generation that
is enjoying going out dancing more than going out to
concerts. But it has helped the music and the clubs be a
focal point of youth culture the way, say Lollapalooza
used to be. What makes it quite different though is
without lyrics, there is not as overt of a message
communicated as in pop music. This has the effect of
being very inclusive of all walks of life, well at least
anyone that wants to dance. But it also allows for lots
of the wrong messages to get projected on the scene by
those ignorant of it.
I'm sure many of you heard
of the HBO documentary in which a middle age dad in a
mid-life crisis is taking drugs with his teenage kids
and going to Bay Area raves. This is obviously not what
our scene is all about, but once again the majority of
Americans will see a warped representation of what we
are enjoying: safe and responsible fun in a friendly
atmosphere. There's not enough documentaries about that,
nor the other positive aspects of the scene. But I
digress^ . I simply wanted to make the point that the
new musical landscape has a more amorphous face than
rock, and we have to be aware of the face we are
painting.
It also is worth pondering how the new
popularity of electronica will seep into popular music
the way hip hop has. We already see the signs in Moby,
Madonna, and Oakenfold. Commercialization is fraught
with peril, but is inevitable. Luckily what was
underground remains 'cool', as the more respected DJ's
in the industry continue to embrace a fairly underground
sound. If only popular music would do the same, maybe
we'd have something better to listen to than old Alice
in Chains albums and the latest DJ mix. In the mean
time, the combination of groove, emotion, and musical
complexity that good electronica provides will continue
to dominate the late 20th something and early 30th
something crowd. As for Layne, rest in peace my friend,
you'll be missed. |
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Why Knowing
What's True is Cool |
Jun 1, 2002 Syd Gris (sydg@earthlink.net)
Welcome back to the conversation once again. Last
month we discussed my take on how the sad state of pop
music today has fueled the electronica revolution.. Back
in FfT# 6 you may recall we discussed the relationship
of knowing truth to taking action. If you're curious,
check it out. It's hearty stuff, and I remarked in that
column we would be re-visiting that topic so here we are
today. We will simply be pondering together and I'll say
a bunch of stuff you already know, but that's typical
Syd behavior.
It's great to be back though isn't
it? Whatever Syd. Truth is the funny little thing upon
which all reality pivots. We move in the world according
to what we think and feel to be true. Keeping it simple,
we can certainly think of the accumulation of truth to
be a combination of what we've been told, what we have
confirmed to be true, and what we feel out in the moment
based on the immediate combination of those two things
working together to make decisions. "This is a great DJ
you have to check them out!" Is it true? Well you
obviously have to take your friend's word on it based on
their credibility with you, and/or you have to find out
for yourself.
When discussing truth it becomes
painfully obvious the whole thing is quite subjective.
We know good and well that what may be true for a person
in one circumstance is not true for another. And of
course, we know for a fact a lot of people (especially
in government and romantic relationships) use this
'fact' for their own ends. One person's freedom fighter
is another person's terrorist. One man's harmless
comment is another girl's hurtful criticism. So is
anything really TRUE in the absolute sense, such that it
is not simply based on context?
Well there are
events. The Lakers won a basketball game today. There's
nothing subjective about that. But as soon as you ask
'why' or 'how,' you are now in the subjective world of
interpretation. Interpretation is always subjective and
contextual, but it can still be more or less true. For
example, we might ask ourselves what is the meaning of
Hamlet. Though this is a matter of interpretation, there
can certainly be answers that are more or less correct.
A happy fable about a Danish raver dealing with mid life
issues of knee arthritis from too much break dancing
would be rather off the mark. Of course though, this
could only be answered by those qualified to speak to
the subject. They would had to have read Hamlet and have
something of a basis for making meaning of such things.
This is why we have experts, to help us make meaning of
things we don't have time to try and learn, like why we
continue to destroy the planet at a
hey-let's-all-go-extinct rate. I could use an expert to
explain that one.
Besides events there are
objective facts disclosed to us by a method. Such as if
I count I see I have ten fingers, approximately 8,000
freckles, and two dancing feet (though on a good night
it appears as though I have 3). Objective and observable
facts that can be easily corroborated by others is
pretty straight forward truth, but not the juiciest
things to ponder. For me, I get more interested in the
meaning of life than the periodic table. So we easily
see we have objective truth and subjective truth, or to
be more dramatic, we have absolute truth and relative
truth. When it comes to making meaning of what is true,
outside the immediate ease of events and facts, there is
much debate.
Historically we relied on the church
to tell us what was true, and this was supposed to have
come down from holy people with a higher access to the
Divine. In the modern era we have relied on science to
tell us what is true, but science is only qualified to
those truths that can be ascertained by the scientific
method. Like how many miles is it to Pluto, as opposed
to, is it wrong to cheat on my taxes when my government
is corrupt? Areas that science can't speak to is
supposed to not be solid enough to seriously ponder in
the sphere of public debate. Where science contradicts
certain religious dogma, (like evolution vs. the
Christian creation story), religion often holds onto
it's old way of seeing the world, thus losing the
respect of millions who are swayed by the more objective
evidence than say, the likeness of women to one of
Adam's ribs.
We're at a funny place in history
because we do need values (the traditional domain of
religion) to be discussed at a societal level. There is
a lot of mistreatment of each other that still goes on,
a lot of injustice, and a lot of hurt. But, though
values has traditionally been the domain of religion,
many of us don't want religious values pushed on us. For
myself that is because too often the good stuff; like in
general it's good not to kill people, gets loaded on
with baggage like; accept Christ into your heart or
you'll burn in Hell for all eternity. Kind of a turn off
ya know? Of course there are many spiritual approaches
that do not do this. I'm simply using obvious examples
to illustrate my point and besides, Christianity is
still the dominant religious force in the Western world.
To corroborate religious or spiritual based truth
claims, you have to take someone's word or find out for
yourself. Eastern vs. Western approaches to spirituality
offer a telling contrast on this issue. While Eastern
based systems of Buddhism or Hinduism emphasize not
believing things simply because a monk said so (though
of course people still do), Western and Middle East
based systems such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam
emphasize believing in the words of the holy books and
the church fathers. These approaches also emphasize a
grater disparity between the common man and the chosen
ones, or prophets. Prophets have direct connect with
God, the rest of us generally don't have that cell plan,
though we might get lucky and get visited by the
occasional angel.
Lucky for us though, both
systems have their version of truth validation, in the
form of prayer and/or meditation. The most sophisticated
spiritual systems have their own form of scientific
method, a set of injunctions to employ to see into the
'true' nature of things. If you really want to know what
is true in these domains, or even work on the subjective
side of reality, there is work to be done. My meaning is
implied but let's make it pop culture accessible. In
"The Empire Strikes Back "(by far the best of the 5 Star
Wars movies out), Luke asks Yoda how to know the good
side from the bad. Yoda replies by saying he will know
when he is calm, at peace, quiet.
I second that
puppet to digital character notion. Knowing truth starts
at the vehicle of perception- You. All vehicles need
maintenance to perfect how it operates in the world.
Don't be afraid to take yours into a mechanic from time
to time, or give it a much needed tune up. Whether you
find tune up that in nature, church, or on the dance
floor is of course up to you, but make sure you find it
somewhere. It's not about escape, it's about setting the
controls for the heart of the truth. Don't let
expectations interfere with what is actually happening. |
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On the
Perils of Being an Aware Dancer |
Hello and welcome back
to the conversation. Thanks for checking in to chew on
some food for thought. Last we talked knowing truth was
mulled over and I suggested truth 'known' by the
mechanisms of the personal senses was tricky business.
Things are quite open to interpretation and rushing to
conclusions without reflecting on the lens of perception
could lead to trouble. What kind of trouble Syd? Is it
dangerous? Well I would say a fairly certain "fuck yes."
Have you looked around lately and taken stock of the
general direction of the planet? Forecast Bad and
getting worse. I would say it's dangerous when the
present generation in charge seems to not take enough
regard of the generations to come. I guess they expect
we'll like wearing lots of sun screen and eating
varieties of Solvent Green will be OK. As long as we
have our cable.
How could it have come to this? Everything looked pretty
rosy when allegorically speaking Eve tasted of the fruit
of knowledge and we were kicked out of Ignorance for our
own damn good. But greed seems to be having the upper
hand over Knowledge in terms of principles by which to
take action. Action. We've discussed this before and yet
here we are again. We need a lot of it so why not
re-visit action? As has been mentioned, the SFLNC is a
political action organization remember? There's no
action , we've all kind of missed the point?
Why do we, as a society keep missing the point I ask
myself? Is it better for us? Not really. Is it naturally
selected for us to choose 'self-now' over 'others-later'
on such a pathologically consistent basis? Syd, what's
the point?
The point is it's hard to be aware. It's tough to be
conscious. It's such a pain in the ass sometimes I just
want to turn on Bacherlorettes in Alaska and eat ice
cream. Awareness is responsibility and responsibility
sucks sometimes. We want someone else to be responsible,
like our leaders. And when they so consistently
disappoint in the choices they make damn it's
discouraging. It's enough to make one apathetic and
bitter. Lazy and distracted by the consumer ocean of
desire waiting for you on the television, on the
freeways, in the bathroom stalls. It doops and drugs,
plants seeds of discontent with self and coveting thy
neighbors' everything.
And when we know better and still get sucked into it
damn that's confusing. Contributing to the problem in
the hopes that someone else is being responsible
somewhere else to counter-balance our moments of
selfishness. It's been said knowing better and doing it
anyway is the best definition of sin out there. It's
sort of what I'm getting at here. The commitment to deal
with our own pain and not leak it into the world and our
actions and our relationships is very hard work. It's
the path of the warrior and the hero, the courageous and
somewhat crazy. It's the road less traveled. Literally!
And thus, too few are on it and the world looks doomed.
Let me steal more cool thoughts from smart people.
Socrates is attributed with first saying, "Let he who
would move the world first move himself." And of course,
to move one's self requires work on one's self. This
usually involves holding the proverbial mirror up to
ourselves and taking a hard cold look. And then we are
back to how much that sucks. That's no fun. I don't like
what I see. Can't I watch someone else's 'Real World?'
That's easier and more entertaining than looking at my
own.
I'm scared that my leaders don't live by these fairly
straight forward ideas. If they did, I can't imagine
they would so consistently be driven towards power and
greed over the long term good of future generations to
live in a fair, safe and beautiful world. Is that so
much to ask? The pursuit of Stuff is kicking butt on the
pursuit of what I would regard as real happiness. Real
happiness to me means having quality relationships with
love in your life, and a regard for the good of yourself
first, so you can have regard of your community, your
state, your country, your world, your solar system, your
galaxy, and your Universe you were part of from the very
beginning. Taking responsibility for all of that seems
very over-whelming. I'd suggest just starting at the
beginning and seeing where it goes.
But please for God 'sake Do Something. But don't do it
just cause I said so. What the hell do I know? Find out
for yourself, that's what your man Syd would recommend.
Am I being redundant here? I feel like I am. I guess I
want to say I know it's hard. I'm no spiritual pioneer (
though I implore all of us to be one) but you could say
I struggle with my habitual way of forgetting the
Eternal within my eyes. In the forgetting there is fear,
and where there's fear the weight of Awareness is just
too damn heavy to carry alone. We need either community
to give us strength or more medication to keep us
sleeping. I vote for community. Who's with me? Tune in
not out. And while you're tuning the channels, turn off
the whole damn TV. (Unless the Simpsons are on of
course)
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Community as Linchpin |
It’s September 11th,
2002, one year later and this hardly monthly column is
laid into action. I avoided most of the paper today (had
to read about the Giants going a game up in the Wildcard
race), and rented a movie. I knew what was waiting for
me on the four channels I get at home. Heartfelt stories
of survival, grief, war, anguish, heroism and the like.
I knew I would cry and I’ve seen quite enough of all
that to get the point. The one thing I did do though was
take a friend up on the invitation to go downtown and
see a free concert of the San Francisco Symphony. Why?
It wasn’t to hear Adagio for Strings, though I love the
piece (can’t help but prefer Willam Orbit’s version
though, sacrilege to some I know)
I went because on a day like today I needed a sense of
community, of connection and togetherness that I could
not get sitting at home, especially in an intentional
setting like this free concert was. I see many people I
know and love at Qool on Wednesdays but needed something
a bit more subdued. Plus I must admit, I am still
recovering from Burning Man, more on that later. Yerba
Buena Gardens, where it was held, was awash in the
wonderful diversity that is San Francisco. Whilst
listening I could only people watch the many faces and
personalities walking by, each with their own thoughts
and lives, but each bound by the reason for being there.
To acknowledge and pay tribute, to find solace in being
together on this sad day.
Tragedy brings people together like nothing else. We are
able to put aside our selfish ponderings for a period of
time and attend to the sad reality facing us all. In
this there is strength, and I think most of us have a
sense of that since 9-11. Some have used it to heal,
others to beat war drums, but however one uses these
moments, we must admit it feels good to be a part of
something. This is why we draw lines, so we can stand on
one side of them with others and feel a part of
something, even if the line is quite arbitrary. This
isn’t all bad of course. We need to draw lines to
discover who we are, by defining who we are not. The
neonate child is immersed in the world with little
separation of self and not-self. It may be regarded by
some as an oceanic bliss, but it is an unconscious one,
so makes it a little harder to enjoy. Kind of like one
of those nights where you partied too hard and don’t
remember much. People may tell you you had fun, but with
no sense of the experience, it leaves one a bit empty.
That neonate soon discovers that the environment is
separate from who she is, and so on, and thus identity
is refined.
But alas I would suggest the modern American lifestyle
has taken it a bit too far. We have a hyper
individualistic culture that spawns both great deeds and
great alienation. More than most cultures, we don’t have
as strong a sense of connection to family, to community,
and the like and this leaves us lonely and disconnected.
People have basked in the stronger sense of connection
9-11 has fostered, both in our shared grief and our
shared anger. It’s a shame that having something to
rally against is such a unifying force, but it always
has been.
There are a number of trade offs we endure for the kind
of society we live in, one of opportunity for some and
freedom for most. There really is more opportunity,
depending of course on your privilege, to move up in the
world than say a society with more of a group ethic,
like China. This is in part due to our capitalistic
economy, which fosters competition and individual
achievement. But of course in competition there must be
a loser, which is part of the game I know but sure
encourages some ruthless tactics at times. But there is
also a more cruel and insipid under-belly that divides
community, and that is the way in which capitalism must
thrive on consumerism. Consumerism thrives on you both
never feeling complete (cause there’s always something
newer and better to buy), and two, puts you in
competition with your friends and neighbors to simply be
cooler by having nicer and newer things.
What I am suggesting is we live in a society that pits
us against each other cause there is an unspoken
competition to be richer, more beautiful, better
equipped with the latest technology, clothing line,
cars, etc. Most of us aren’t in an outright competition
of course, but there is subtle jealousy, and
dissatisfaction with what we got (the all-out plague of
the ‘grass is greener’ complex). And this divides us,
makes us feel less like a community, and more like, to
borrow an over-used analogy, like rats in a cage. Even
the wisest get caught up-- it’s so hard not to!
Thus we pursue our quest to be richer and more beautiful
at a pace that has America killing the planet faster
than any other nation. If we had more of a sense of
community, and less alienation, we just might feel less
of the compulsion to spend more to be liked more. And
now I come around to the point! Damn it’s about time Syd.
We are lucky to be a part of the dance community, for
it’s a blueprint for togetherness that many others don’t
have in their lives. But we must fill in the blanks!
Community is built by togetherness in work and play, by
authentic relationships and intentional gathering, and
that my friends, can be very good for you.
It’s a well known fact that this can be one of the most
powerful side effects of going to Burning Man. Those who
have been part of a good camp know exactly what I am
talking about. It’s also of course a laboratory for all
the other problems that arise in human relationship: ego
trips, laziness, in-fighting, etc. But that messiness
contained in the forum of community sure feels better
than going through it feeling alone. We are social
animals, and anyone who says they don’t care what others
think really means they don’t care what some people
think, not everyone, we’re just not capable of that
level of independence without it being either totally
pathological or totally enlightened. I’d say usually the
former.
I’ve been to dance events and felt totally alone, and
I’ve been to dance events and felt totally connected.
Those nights of community-ness leave me craving more and
more. It’s hard to find, and the dance events that
intentionally set a stage for connection (like Raise the
Frequency’s ‘Radiance,’ or Opel Productions’ ‘ÌInfuse’)
can certainly have their own challenges. One may be the
person who is too defended to be a human being, and the
cool front never comes down, or the other may be the
person who is actually too open and gushing crap at a
high velocity of unauthentic reaching for connection.
Human relationship is messy, but oh so necessary, and oh
so rewarding! And when these events come off, and from
what I have seen they always do, it is the scene at it’s
best.
To make a short story long, I encourage everyone in the
dance community to do their small part to foster a
feeling of community and connection when you go out. Be
nice to people, say excuse me if you bump them, respect
people’s boundaries, and for God’s sake don’t forget to
dance! You’ve heard all this before I know but it bears
repeating, so much is on the line and sometimes the
little David’s of community plant seeds of courage to
conquer the Goliaths of the world. I’d say the stakes
couldn’t be higher.
Tune in not out.
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The Trap of Yearning |
Hello good people and
welcome back to the conversation. Last we talked we were
discussing the importance of community to sustain
individual development and healthy living, especially in
a world dominated by competition and the insipid goal of
capitalism to make you feel like you always need more.
Today I was hoping we might talk a little more about
that on a personal level. Are you down? Cool, let’s go.
Always needing more. It’s a constant, nagging,
tenacious, unforgiving, tendency that I think we all
struggle with in so many ways. It is an itch that keeps
us from being content with who we are right now in this
moment. When we scratch it, it is only temporary relief.
In our modern culture it becomes nearly impossible to
discern basic needs from luxury. Whether it be a car, a
certain pair of jeans, a certain kind of mate, a certain
kind of lifestyle, the difference between need and want
is absolutely confusing. How does one proceed with
wisdom?
Well there’s always going without for a while and
discovering what life is like without a Palm Pilot, a
girlfriend, Charles David shoes, etc. Do you still
exist?? Of course you do. Can you be happy? Of course
you can. Are you? Well that’s another story. Obviously
everyone has the capacity to be happy in a number of
situations, and everyone has their limits. I could live
without chips and salsa, but would I be happy? Well
that’s a stretch. The food for thought today is to
explore the actual mechanisms of the mind that itches at
you, telling you that you need something else different
than what’s right here, right now.
I’ve seen it played out on the dance floor more times
than I can count. In myself, and in my friends. You’re
out there getting your groove on. But instead of being
in your body, surfing the groove like your riding a
sonic surf board through the waves of sound, your
paddling in so many different directions in your head.
You’re thinking, if I had more room to dance this would
be better. I wish it wasn’t so hot, then I’d be
comfortable. I wish that girl would notice me checking
her out and give me some love, then I’d feel confident.
I wish they’d play a different song, this one’s
monotonous. Should I take another half? I’m not as
stoked as I want to be. Should I get another drink?,
that might help. How about some water? What are my
friends doing, are they having more fun than I am? Maybe
I should move closer to the DJ, those people over there
look like they’re having a better time. And on and on….
Have you been there? I know I have, it’s so annoying.
It’s the trap of yearning, and some times once you let
in the very first thought of discontent it’s gonna keep
itching at you until you scratch it. And of course, it’s
only temporary relief. Like a rash it will pop up in a
different place until you breathe and really ask
yourself, is that really what I NEED right now, or am I
just fooling myself? It’s possible you shouldn’t have
even gone out, that you forced it when you really need
to have a quiet night at home being quiet with yourself.
I would dare to say that is a need sometime. Of course,
some of us go out sometimes just to get away from
ourselves, not in touch with ourselves. We use drugs and
alcohol to further that effort, getting further away
from ourselves. Of course, we can also use these things
to get in touch with ourselves as well. Part of that
depends on your intention going into it, your reaction
to certain substances, and at what point of the night
we’re talking about. Once you start it’s easy to take it
too far cause those traps of yearning can get so
magnified in certain states.
Sometimes the people around us see it before we do, the
good friend may pull you aside and ask you, what’s up?
"You want to stop second, have some water and some
conversation?" Running to stand still, I know you’ve
seen it. (Sweet the sin, bitter the taste in my mouth.)
How do we get out?? As I mentioned earlier, I think your
first line of defense is to BREATHE, deep and long and
allow yourself to have a moment; a respite from your
chattering mind as you let a breath fill your body
instead of a thought filling your mind. Next would be to
ask yourself, is this really why I’m not having fun, or
is it simply that ‘I’ am getting in my own way of having
fun? Have I forced it tonight? Is this really where I
want to be? Of course the answering can be another form
of grass-is-greener, but it’s a legitimate question to
ask.
You have an inherent ability to groove and flow if you
can let your body’s own rhythm find it’s niche and quiet
that mind for just a bit. It does take some practice,
and as I’ve said before (in column #4), it is it’s own
form of meditation. For me the dance floor is a respite
and battleground in dealing with the trap of yearning. I
can get a vacation from my chattering, or I can struggle
with it as I try and find my step. I call it a trap
because any cure is only temporary, it’s not really what
is gonna make you happy. What’s gonna make you happy is
settling into yourself, in a comfortable way of
self-appreciation and dance in a celebration of the
moment. When you take away all the bullshit of
"not-enough" there’s not much left to do in life except
celebrate this wacky existence and have healthy
relationships with your loved ones so they can celebrate
with you. Rooting out the things that prevent you from
having healthy relationships and an ability to celebrate
life without a lot of clinging and grasping for more is
a life long project. In my experience the two biggest
culprits that hinder these things are pain and fear.
Pain colors our relationships and sets up all kinds of
nasty patterns, for fear of feeling more pain and for
the expectations it sets up about reality. We’ve all
been hurt in relationships, with our parents, our
relatives and our friends and lovers. I’d dare to say to
let go of that stuff, you generally have to work through
it. (The Way out is through). It’s why I have said
before: Do Something. That means, do something, do
anything to strengthen your relationship with yourself
and others so you’re not gonna pollute the world with
your unresolved pain. It happens all the time and this
is not news to you. People polluting the world with
their pain is a major cause of the travesties of
history.
We all struggle with it, but some of us are on that path
and some aren’t. I’m a snob and prefer to surround
myself with those that are, in my life and at my Opel
parties, but there’s room for everyone. So next time
you're on the dance floor and feeling that itch, take a
breath and try and simply let go of the thoughts as they
enter rather than being hooked by them. Sit on the side
of the river of thought and simply watch, rather than
participate. Don’t worry, more crap will come streaming
down the river, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump
in the stream. Let the dance be your guardian against
that pesky trap of yearning.
Tune in, not out.
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The
Responsibility of a Generation |
Hey yo. Welcome back to
the conversation. Last we spoke we were talking about
the trap of yearning. Been caught lately? Ya, me too.
I’d like to resurrect my normal disclaimer for this
column, which is that all Syd thoughts have been said
before, believe nothing, but if so moved find out for
yourself. I just like to specialize in reminding people
to not forget to remember all that they know. We know a
lot of important things, but sometimes we forget, or
sometimes it's just too drown out by the sounds of 2K2
living. One thing I know right now, is that I’m scared.
I’m scared that the people in charge of making decisions
that effect my life, your life, and pretty much most of
the human race are forsaking their responsibility to
build on what we as a human species have clamored to
create. I’m not saying everything sucks and I wish we
could go back to a prior, simpler, way of living. The
way is forward. Unfortunately, the way not only is
looking a bit too sunny for my tastes (thanks to global
warming), I feel the way forward is being blocked by out
dated and destructive ways of thinking and relating to
the world by the generations that have come before us.
Looking at it from a generational perspective sheds some
light for me. The World War 2 generation and their
offspring, the Baby Boomers are in charge of most of the
world’s leading businesses, the offices of government,
most media outlets, and other cornerstones of power in
the world. The values and culture of these generations
can tell us something about our problems. Speaking in
broad terms, I think it safe to say the WWII generation
was characterized by sacrifice, order and a belief in
institutions such as God and country, and more fixed
ideas about right and wrong, patriotic and unpatriotic,
etc. They lived through the Depression and two World
Wars. They sacrificed and fought for noble causes, they
felt a sense of vulnerability that we do not know. Now I
think they carry that strong need for a sense of safety
in a culture that creates greed in the guise of
security. Because hey, economically speaking, you just
can’t be too secure, ie., you can’t be too rich. There
is always more to get, and you’re gonna take your steps
to make sure you get a piece of the pie cause it could
be gone, it could be threatened. There is also a sense
of deserving that piece because they earned it. They’ve
worked and they sacrificed. Naturally they will have
disdain for those who don’t want to work to get what
they want, or people that are self indulgent and
irreverent to the institutions that got them to a place
of privilege enough they even have the luxury to bitch
about things.
Then the Boomers came along and were able to build on
the sacrifices and work of their predecessors. They
placed greater values in equality and pluralism (a
belief that every idea, every race, every tradition has
equal merit because there are no absolutes). To the
previous generation, this is moral limbo because there
are no fixed ideas of right and wrong. But to the
Boomers, it helped fuel many of the positive movements
of the 60’s. Civil rights, environmental awareness,
gender equality, and the like were a result of the young
Boomers demanding an end to the way things were. The
institutions of God and country were questioned and in
some ways outright attacked. And they needed to be. Many
things changed for the better. There was evolution. Of
course all of the promises of these movements are still
being fought every day. And in some cases, I would have
to say we are losing. We haven’t achieved wide scale
equality, not even close, but it has gotten better, and
we do have the Boomers to thank for getting the ball
rolling. However, they also have some baggage of course.
The ^ÌMe’ generation lives up to its name by being self
obsessed and self indulgent. The post-modern values of
the Boomers have resulted in an attitude that
communicates: don’t tell me how to live, don’t tell me
that I’m not OK, that what I think or do is wrong,
because it’s all relative, it’s all context. You’re OK,
I’m OK. Throw in the a dose of materialism, and an
inherited-and-improved upon culture of greed, and you’ve
got trouble.
And then you’ve got us, referred to at times as both the
Lost Generation, and Generation X. We’re referred to as
independent, whiny, irreverent, materialistic, slackers,
listless, causeless, but at least we have fun. We play
hard and use our money more for this immediate
gratification of fun and style. Credit cards, IPO’s,
cell phones, technology, the Internet, bla bla bla.
You’ve heard all this. We’re not involved enough in
what’s going on because we’re cynical and not really
that bothered by what’s going on. As long as our
entertainment coma doesn’t get disturbed, we may make a
lot of noise but we’re not really gonna do anything on a
grand scale that actually may make things change, like
vote. This is bad business too because if you haven’t
noticed, the WW2 generation is trying to consolidate
their nest egg and preserve the institutions that make
them feel secure. Meanwhile in Boomer land, security has
become more important than causes, and partially because
of their languishing in how great they are and how
relative it all is, they’re not pushing the boundaries
of progressive solutions to old problems.
They’re not really taking stock of future generations
because they’re not seeing far enough ahead of their own
lives. If they were, the environment wouldn’t be in as
bad a shape as it is. There wouldn’t be so many scandals
involving money, greed, dishonesty, power, etc., in our
nations most important institutions. The moral limbo has
taken a toll, we really could use some values. Maybe
it’s not all relative. Problem is, the solution from the
WW2 generation is too laden with dogma, and outdated,
mythical ways of seeing the world through the lens of
religion. Progress would be a sense of right and wrong
that is acted upon in mass in order to change the
stagnant cultures of the previous generations. No wonder
we don’t want to be involved, what a mess! Look at the
mess you are making of the world that I will, (have?)
inherited from you! This is your problem, deal with it!
I want to go dancing.
Unfortunately, the world needs us. If we don’t get
conscious and take a roll in turning this thing around
I’m telling you now we are fucked. Really, there will be
widespread suffering because the warnings of the need to
reign in this toxic greed was not heeded by those who
don’t have to be around to see the shit hit the fan. I’m
pissed it’s come to this, it’s really annoying, but it
is what it is. Whatever you do, do something. If we
don’t do it, who will? Thanks for sharing this burden
with me, we need each other. Tune in not out!
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My
Resolution for 2k3 - Help Wanted |
Hello and welcome back
to the conversation. If you’re like me you’re preparing
for the year end festivities (or recovering from them)
and maybe reflecting on what has been and what will be.
2K2 saw the scene continue to what it does best and
continues what it doesn’t do so well. We had great fun,
we danced, we made music, we saw 800 parties get started
and about 795 of those stop happening. We saw the great
benefits help different causes, super star DJ’s got more
super, and more turn tables were bought for the budding
super stars to be.
We also saw the likes of the Rave Act and other
anti-late night culture legislation get introduced. We
saw undercover sting operations in the states biggest
clubs trying to shut them down and/or reduce drug use
amongst America’s youth. The dance culture is an easy
target for the ineffective "war" on drugs. We’re ripe
for the picking, partially because who is standing up
for us?? The SFLNC is a rare breed of organization in
the country, and hopefully others are getting inspired
and educated from our work. Eventually I dare say we
will need an American Late Night Coalition. The scene
continues to be rather apolitical in my opinion, though
in San Francisco and some other areas the party and
organizations like the SFLNC was used to spread the
political word.
You may or may not see that as a good thing. Our scene
was founded on partying, and many don’t want to get too
serious. Don’t fuck with my high man. Well I guess I
wanted to talk about that right there. We simply can not
just go to parties and expect everything to be OK. We
can’t expect those parties will be there next year or
even next month. We can not even assume we will have the
same civil liberties we as Americans take for granted.
If we sit back and assume everything is going to be OK
you’re gonna be driving around Bayview again looking for
the map point cause your favorite club could be closed
or too lame to attend anymore. So if you’ve read any
past columns you know my soapbox about using the scene
to do good in the world, please do something for your
fellow groover, please get conscious cause the world
needs more consciousness, please be nice to people,
please learn how to love well, please work on yourself
so you don’t spew your pain on the world, please don’t
listen to too much Limp Biskit, etc.
These are the redundant virtues I extol because I feel
like if we don’t do something for the betterment of our
shared human condition no one will. The entertainment
coma, the apathy coma, the materialism coma, all seep in
our bones putting us to sleep like too much turkey at
Christmas dinner. It’s hard to shake it off alone, so we
need each other. The only time I ever see everyone I
know and love (outside of family) are at dance parties.
Mostly it’s about fun and taking a break from the
pressures of the world, but sometimes it could be about
something else as a way to move slightly forward,
nudging our way towards evolution before the whole thing
blows up (or melts down) in our face.
Any gathering of like minded people with common cause is
an opportunity to do some good, and in many cases that’s
what our parties are. Let’s consider setting a little
more intention into our gatherings in the hopes that
more will come out of it than smiles, sore legs, and the
occasional hang over. Let’s consider mobilizing our
shared potential toward the good we hope is still in the
world, despite the harrowing odds of clueless leaders.
(I can only hope they are clueless, it’s much scarier to
imagine they totally have a clue and simply don’t care.)
I care, and I know many of you do too.
It’s easier to do nothing, so that’s what most of us do.
Changing that pattern is as easy as making a new
decision, dare I say a commitment to living differently,
and that’s obviously what the New Years resolution is
all about. I don’t know many people who are good at
keeping it. I tend not to make them cause I don’t want
to let myself down. However, if you’re in I’m in, what
do you say??
I resolve to try and stand above fear, to not be
contaminated by my pain and not contaminate others, to
tell the truth, to pay attention, to remember to
breathe, to do my small part for this messy business of
human evolution, and to bring back some good progressive
trance to the dance floor. Maybe you can help me, at
least in the first few resolutions. When I was home for
the holidays I saw a sign in my mom’s bathroom that
stuck with me, it read. " We may not have it all
together, but together we can have it all."
Yes. That’s it. We need each other to make it happen.
See you on the dance floor.
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A Snapshot of Pop
Culture |
Hello and welcome
back to the conversation. Thanks for dropping in for a
little food for thought. This month I wanted to talk
about a snap shot of American pop culture. There’s a lot
of snapshots America has to offer. The good, the bad,
the ugly, the comical and the straight surreal, it’s all
here in full technicolor. I don’t mean to seem as though
I’m focusing on the negative, but I guess I’m as guilty
as the local news for focusing on the negative at times.
It’s just a reaction I have that I need to vent
about while pondering with you what it all means to Us.
‘Us’ being the seemingly small minority of sanity in a
pop culture overflowing with crap. I’m weary of cop
shows and court theatre, commercialism and bubble gum
stand ins for entertainment with substance. ‘Texas
Justice’, ‘Judge Judy’, ‘Cops’, ‘Law and Order’, ‘The
Shield’, ‘America’s Most Wanted’, and on and on and on.
Have you ever stopped to think how many shows are on TV,
the dominant medium of entertainment that seeps into
America’s living rooms, that have something to do with
cops, lawyers, crime, court rooms etc.? You’d think
that’s all that goes on in America. Well in a way I
guess you could say it is.
We have the highest
murder rate in the world. We have more prisoners,
criminal and political, than most any other nation. We
are one of the few modern, industrial nations left with
a death penalty. Our so-called president (I still say
‘so-called’ because he didn’t win the election) was the
leader of the grim reapers as governor of his state. The
majority of what we see in our nightly news and nightly
entertainment has to do with crime, danger, fear, etc.
It’s hard to know if life is imitating art, or art is
imitating life. It’s a cycle, plain and simple, and it
makes me shake my head at the sickness that is
permeating our culture.
In ‘Bowling for
Columbine’, Michael Moore documents in comical accuracy
America’s obsession with guns and crime, fed by fear and
commercialism. If you haven’t seen it you must, it is a
must see for everyone. The premise is simply that we
feed on fear and want. We fear criminals, psychos and
the government (two out of three are worth our worries
I’d say). We are in a perpetual state of commercial want
by the bombardment of our senses with products and
have-to-haves. Nothing is sacred if it sells products.
Gandhi’s face is used to sell Apple computers, the
Beatles or Led Zepplin tracks are used to sell cars,
rappers such as LL Cool J and Run DMC used to sell an
ideology of liberation for dispossessed African
Americans, now they sell Dr. Pepper.
Now part of
me can accept this is America, love it or leave it. But
I don’t subscribe to that thinking, instead I say this
is America, love it or change it. The power in America
is in the vote, and in the dollar. Granted we don’t have
many great choices at times in our elections, but it’s
still of course on us to be heard. If everyone voted
that complained, America would be a very different
place. However, if people didn’t watch Cops, Texas
Justice and all those shows with subtle symbols of a
police state, they wouldn’t be on TV! Plain and simple.
We, as a society keep it going because many us are into
watching bad people be bad and the good guys being good.
Now of course I have to admit, some of these shows are
well done and I get sucked in. But, I still think it’s
worth pondering the density of shows about criminals and
violence and such that breed fear. Pain and fear are the
greatest obstacles to taking the higher road, of living
more out of love and compassion than selfishness and
greed. It’s why I’m always asking us to stand above fear,
and work through our pain.
If enough people
decided to stop drinking Coke, you could change the
world. Meaning, political action through the use of how
you choose to spend your money is a powerful tool.
Getting educated about where your money goes, about what
companies support what causes, give to what politicians,
own other companies, is an important part of that
process, but who has time for that? I try and listen and
learn but the whole corporate web is so entangled it
would be a full time job to keep track of it all.
General Electric is a classic example. They are one of
the biggest companies in the world, they make nuclear
warheads for the government, they make light bulbs, and
they own NBC. There are many more examples. If we took
up a cause and boycotted certain business and products,
people with power would be more likely to listen than if
you didn’t.
It’s easy to feel like the whole
machine is too big, the rest of the county is too
ignorant, the entrenched need for buying stuff to make
us feel good is too much a way of American life that
what you do means nothing. Small acts of consciousness
are seemingly swallowed up in the cult of American
mediocrity celebrating beer, bigger SUV’s, and being
macho. But what choice do we have? Are we just gonna
roll over and let America’s maniacal rate of consumption
slowly destroy the rest of the world? Or are we gonna do
what we can when we can? And-- continue to slowly
educate as we go in a way that doesn’t run people off?
If people stopped watching ‘Cops’ and ‘America’s
Most Wanted’, both propagators of racial and cultural
stereotypes and glorifiers of the subtle police state,
the shows would be cancelled. Same goes for the white
trash Oscar winner, ‘Jerry Springer’. We must turn away
from violence and greed if we want to do our part in
loosening it’s hold on our pop culture, a hold that
perpetuates the cycles of fear and commercialism that at
time make me sick to take a hard cold look at our
American culture. Don’t go see movies that propagate
this American obsession, don’t give your money to
companies that are not acting with justice and
generosity, and most importantly in your daily
interactions with friends and associates, treat people
well, starting with yourself. It may seem there is
little you as an individual can do, but it’s certain
that if you do nothing, nothing will happen.
Gandhi said even as a minority of one, the truth is
still the truth. Even if you feel like a minority of
sanity in a sick culture, stand in the truth, and spread
it when you can. Eventually things are going to come to
a head, and the future of our society will go in one of
two directions, one towards equality and liberation, one
towards division and it’s accompanying oppression. You
are just as much a part of that decision as anyone else.
Tune in, not out.
Syd Gris
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Love on the
Dance Floor, Part 1 |
Hey there and welcome
back for some food for thought. Ready to go to War? Ya
me neither, so let’s talk about Love instead. Especially
as this is the month of the big Hallmark Holiday
highlighting love and relationships, I thought it only
appropriate to enter the treacherous territory of gender
dynamics. Or as I like to call it, love on the dance
floor.
Hooking up in a club is no easy feat. Despite the
plethora of options and frequent use of varying kinds of
substance induced attraction goggles, for how many times
you go out it’s pretty rare you meet someone you like.
Plus, they generally have to like you back, you have to
be able to hear each other having a conversation, like
the way they dance, and not scare them off for all the
reasons people get scared off. (Your tweaker friends,
your bad breath, your bad taste in music, etc.) Of
course, in conversation you can always just laugh and
nod when you can’t hear them, a frequent favorite until
you realize she just told you she’s out because her cat
got ran over and she’s depressed.
Finding love on the dance floor is not easy for any
gender or sexual orientation. And once you actually work
up enough momentum to actually see each other outside
the party environment, then the real work begins. And
you thought being witty while yelling over Spesh at
Minna was hard?? Think again! The dynamics of
relationship is a tangled affair and I know I don’t have
to tell you that. So let’s discuss this shall we?? I
love the sticky topics! Let me first say before going on
that I speak as a hetero male speaking in general terms
about male and female dynamics, so don’t get all upset I
don’t include every combination of people out there that
form relationships. In this town especially, the sky is
pretty much the limit. I’m taking broad strokes and
great liberties, if you want better differentiated
dynamics there’s lots of great books out there.
The problem with men is that they’re stupid. I’m sorry
but it’s true. Men in general are not close enough to
their emotions to think ahead about how their actions
may effect someone else, especially a woman who cares
about them. They use their mind to attempt to engineer
their emotions in ways that won’t hurt as bad if they
are the hurt-er or the hurt-ee, so to speak. Much of it
is simply mental deception, fermenting in consciousness
until we act out through self-medicating actions such as
drugs, meaningless sex, etc. Many men do not have an
appreciation of how shared experiences get emotionally
translated differently between men and women. Sex is the
most obvious example. I dare say in general men have
more frequently done it without emotions involved than
women, and this has led to a lot of hurt. You can blame
it on our fuck-everyone- in-the-clan mentality we’ve
inherited, coupled with socialization and having
trophies and notches and all that shit. In a way it
doesn’t really matter to me. It exists, it’s caused a
lot of pain, and understanding needs to happen in both
directions. Men and women are wired differently,
testosterone makes us more aggressive, sexual and
stupid. Ask any woman whose had to under go testosterone
treatment; they get horny, angry, and want to fall
asleep after cuming instead of cuddling.
Coming at ya from a psychological perspective (my career
before I was, in Mel Brooks words, a ‘stand up
philosopher’) women need to understand what men want in
relationship. Men want someone who can mommy them and
still be a sex object. This is a union between the mommy
thing and our need to have a companion and sexual
relations. It should be no secret that the blue print of
relationships we carry starts with the relationship with
our parents. We learn what to expect from different
people, often in a very gender specific manner, from how
our care-givers treat us. Men still want someone with
tenderness and care taking skills like a mother, but who
can be naughty and sexual and womanly and help them
transcend the desire to be mommied. Of course, if a
woman is too much a mommy (big sexual turn off) or too
much a sex object (that’s the girl you just want to
sleep with), the prognosis is not good.
Women of course are crazy. Women are so close to their
emotions they are at times taken hostage by a number of
irrational emotional tidal waves. They make a number of
crazy assumptions about how men are supposed to act if
they really loved them, really cared about them, etc. We
are all guilty of the if-then mistake, but I think women
are a bit more susceptible. Like: "If he really loved
me, then he would not go clubbing tonight and spend time
with me." Oh brother is that trouble! The level of
irrational thought process about his feelings,
motivations, fantasies, dreams, wedding colors he
prefers are often totally beyond anything men actually
think about. It’s nothing personal of course, we just
are different!
I think hetero women want a man who can be his own man
(like the authoritative father), who can take control of
a situation and have a back bone, but who will also do
what the woman wants, when they want it. A bit of
contradictory motivations there, obviously set up some
conflicts. A woman may get mad when the man doesn’t act
right, but loses respect if he just seems to be trying
to cow-tow to try and please her all the time. They
would prefer men to be mind readers, because it’s taken
as a sign of love and understanding if a guy can
anticipate her needs. If she has to ask, the man is
often in big trouble, cause she’s resentful she has to
ask. Then, when he comes though, or attempts to, it’s
often not good enough because it feels contrived.
("You’re just doing that because I told you too, not
cause you really want to.") Either way you’re in big
trouble! Of course men, do it anyway, at least you’ll
get some credit for trying. And she’s probably giving
you good advice anyway. Behind every great man, there is
a great woman.
I really believe if more women voted, they could quickly
change the world. Women in my opinion are closer to
Spirit because of their ability to create, and they have
an inherent ability to give of themselves and sacrifice
in ways men can not dream of without being really put to
the test. Men are much more likely to be selfish and we
have so much to learn from women about giving,
tenderness, presence, and sometimes hygiene. Of course,
women could use some of our rationality that, too much
of, makes us emotionally stupid, and men could use some
of that craziness which would make them more emotionally
present and intelligent.
Regardless of your gender sexual preference, I believe
masculine and feminine issues arise in every
relationship, and we need each other to be balanced and
progress toward that great pie in the sky, that End Goal
and Be All of Reality, that greatest sweetest kiss the
Universe has to offer, the very fiber holding reality
together, the language of God and Spirit when that great
Force chooses to speak… I’m speaking about love of
course. The very thing we all want and need more than
anything, the very thing that can stop war and hate and
suffering. Hippy shit is sometimes true.
Tuning in not out,
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Love on the
Dance Floor, Part 2 |
Hey there and welcome
back. Nice of you to once again check in with Syd in for
some Food for Thought. Last we spoke we were discussing
some generalizations about men and women and what they
bring into relationship. We said that men have troubles
because their separation from their emotions makes them
pull bone-headed maneuvers in relationship. We also said
women’s closer proximity to theirs can get them into
different kinds of trouble. This is the dance of love,
and we do it cause we can’t help ourselves. Before I get
all sappy, let’s talk some more about stuff it may or
may not be helpful to think about.
I want to go into more detail about something just
mentioned last month, and it’s something that I urge all
of you to seriously think about. This is about the way
you see relationship with the opposite sex in the first
place. What do you want from them? What do you get from
them? What do you expect from them? What do they do for
you? To shed light on these questions I suggest you
start with the foundation of your relationships with the
opposite sex- your parents.
Your relationship with your parents is the foundation of
what you expect in all relationships. It, as I said
earlier, is the blue print. If you had a positive
relationship with your father for example, you are more
likely to view men in authority in a positive light, and
even to act in a way as to generate the response you
expect. In all relationships, we tend to elicit the
reaction we expect, whether that is a conscious or
unconscious expectation. Let’s take a more common
example. Let’s say you’re a girl whose dad left your
household when you were young, and many of you did
because the divorce rate is so sadly high. Depending on
what kind of relationship you had once he was no longer
living with you, it has the strong potential to set up
the following dynamic. You may have been emotionally
devastated by the fact your dad left YOU. No matter the
reason, you’re a little girl whose dad has left, it’s
really hard not to take that personally. You secretly
believe somewhere inside you that you’re not worthy of
love from a man, and therefore when you get it, it does
not compute with your worldview. You have two options,
one is to change your worldview, the other is to act in
ways that the man leaves you so you can go on believing
in your worldview. Humans are funny that way, often we
would rather be right than be happy. We favor
consistency and predictability over integrating new
information that requires us to question our most basic
assumptions. Often this is because these assumptions are
unconscious and therefore unquestioned.
I emphasize this because this happens all over our
relationships. We have expectations from the first
example we had of relationship, that with our
caregivers. If you have an unhealthy relationship with
your mother and you’re a hetero guy, chances are good
you’re going to bring that into your romantic
relationships with the women in your life. And it’s not
always the repetition of that, sometimes it’s the
reaction against. For example if a guy has an engulfing
mother, sometimes he may pick the same kind of mate, but
sometimes he will choose the opposite, in this case
someone who is very aloof and unaffectionate. The crux
of how this problem plays out is to what extent it has
been examined.
Oh Syd, there you go again, why must you be so
persistently annoying?? I can’t help it, the truth is
the truth. The unexamined life is a recipe for polluting
the world with your unresolved pain, and that is bad.
It’s bad for the world, it’s bad for your love life, and
it’s bad for you. Beware the potential mate who has a
poor relationship with their parents and hasn’t tried to
deal with it. Let’s face it, some of our parents are
crazy and there’s not much we can do about it. Some of
them are downright toxic and having a relationship with
them is actually a bad thing for us. It’s sad but true.
The point is not how good is it, though that will
certainly be a barometer of other issues, but have they
looked at it? Have they dealt with it? Is their head in
the emotional sand? Are they medicating their emotions
through drugs, sex with you, partying, working, being
‘spiritual’, and all the ways we distract ourselves from
what is painful and what is real?
Relationships can be used in the same way drugs are, to
fill a hole we don’t want to look down. You all know the
friend who can’t be single more than a day or two. They
have to have someone in their life to distract them from
themselves, to validate their impoverished sense of
self. Of course, relationships can also be the most
trying form of spiritual work out there, cause they
press so many buttons of ego, attachment, selfishness,
caring, loving, etc. It once again comes back to
intention, and what you are in relationship for, and
part of that once again will be informed by your
templates for relationship.
Men and women are different. It goes back to biology, to
history, to socialization, to culture etc. And that’s
OK. What may be true for one is not always true for the
other and applying your truth to your partner is another
frequent mistake made by both parties. Be wary of that,
just cause you think it may mean something does not that
mean that’s the way it IS. What IS can be very fuzzy,
very gray (did someone say gris?). The differences are
part of the dance and the dance can be fun and it can be
miserable, often it’s both. But when it’s good it’s so
good! Love at it’s best, calls upon our highest self,
and our most giving and sacrificing tendencies, to
actually expand the bounds of your Self to let another
in. When you expand the boundaries of your self you
loosen your sole identity with that self and that puts
you closer to feeling the ever present Spirit that is
the Suchness of reality. And that’s what it’s all about,
right there, awakening to that ever present truth.
That’s the beauty of love and why it’s the music of that
Spirit, calling to you to dance with it.
Love on the dance floor... love is the dance and the
dance floor. To have it at its purest is to achieve some
of the greatest things to achieve in life, but it takes
work to have that kind of love, it does not come
naturally, we are too flawed. Work sucks, but do it
anyway.
While you’re at it, tune in not out.
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Paradox Americana |
Since we last spoke we have entered a war and over
thrown a government, turned a nation on its head and
completely altered the balance of power in the Middle
East and for the time being, in the world. The bombs
started dropping the first night I was in Miami for the
Winter Music Conference. Some guy my age was dropping
explosives thousands of feet below, hitting military and
the accidental civilian targets where the poor victims
of wrong time wrong place were blown to pieces below. Ah
yes, the bravery of being out of range. More people my
age were around me, partying to great music, drinking
over priced cocktails and getting squeezed for every
last penny at the Miami clubs, most notably Space, the
most shameful display of greed I’ve ever seen a t a
club. They almost called security when I went into the
bathroom to refill my water bottle for the second time
after having been told not to. My big act of defiance,
(besides smuggling in that big bottle of vodka because I
refused to buy it from them, but that’s another
story...).
Dancing through the anguish of the
world on a Saturday morning to DJ Vibe, surrounded by
people I love. Trying to live in the paradox of
Americana, where there can be so much good and so much
evil all under the same flag. It would be different if
we had been told the truth from the beginning. Growing
up in middle of the road public schools in a small town,
you get the rosy version of history. Our ‘discovery’ of
America, our ‘troubles’ with the Indians, our ‘destiny’
to control all of North America. Then if you’re lucky,
as I was, to receive a more balanced education in
college, you get to hear the other side.
You get
to hear about the sad genocide of a great race of people
that were here before us. You get to understand the
blood stains of colonialism by people that look like me,
the shame of slavery, the promises of America, some
kept, many not, much of that depending on your race and
your privilege. Then in the modern era you learn how it
get s worse. How we participated in the over throw of
democratically elected governments in Guatemala, Chile,
Nicaragua, and El Salvador because we thought they were
too socialist in their economics and we didn’t want any
of that commy shit on our side of the planet. Brutal and
unthinkable suffering was inflicted on people with our
participation and help in varying degrees. And we were
the good guys.
Then we participated in the
assassination and cover up of our own president in John
F. Kennedy. Our very own leader. Dubious evidence
circulates about the killings of other great leaders
such as Martin Luther King Jr. and others. We fabricate
a military incident (in Vietnam) to spark a war that
only drained the blood of both sides while the
industrialists got richer off the vast suffering of
others. Another president has to resign because of his
own breaking of the law. Another president authorizes
clandestine military operations to fund a guerilla war
against the expressed will of Congress and the people
and then ‘forgets’ about it so he’s not accountable. Oli
North is the fall guy and becomes a hero, nearly winning
a seat in the Senate years later. No one seems to
actually get in much trouble for all this wrong doing,
while others in the country can have all of their assets
seized for being suspected of having drugs (you don’t
even have to be convicted.)
We have the highest
murder rate in the world, the highest rate of
incarceration of its citizens, we have some of the
greatest freedoms, the most amazing art and forms of
self expression, the greatest wealth and distribution of
modern goodies. We pioneer advances in medicine and
greater ways to bring death, we have a power change
every four to eight years, and we have elections that
can be altered from the will of the people.
Our
current president was not the choice of the majority of
Americans. He won the election by a 5-4 vote in the
Supreme Court, fighting over a state where scores of
African-American voters in certain precincts were denied
access to the polls, controlled by his very own brother
the governor. Am I the only one whose feeling angry?
Then America gets attacked by terrorists (which other
evidence suggests elements within our own government
knew and did not do more to stop because it fit in with
a greater agenda to restrict our freedoms and make war
with long standing enemies. Think I’m crazy for
considering it? We killed our own president, why not
this?). Now we get to go to war some more, killing the
guilty and innocent alike in huge numbers. I feel
ashamed to be an American. I live with the privilege of
the fruits of the blood stained labor, and I am just
ashamed.
There are a small group of
industrialists and corporate kings who run the show, and
they are in it for themselves and their families. They
seem to have very little regard for the greater good,
for what is right, even for the moral code of the
religion most of them claim to live under. And I am just
baffled that this is our predicament in the modern age.
A huge vacuum of introspection, only a priority on
buying things, staying entertained and following the
script of a good capitalist until your on the table,
dying from heart disease. Freedom is threatening to
these captains and kings, and it’s why they want you to
be busy with the struggles of getting more stuff, and
certainly don’t want you to be high, cause that is
threatening.
What will we do? I ask myself all
the time. Voting is a good start, but when you are
voting sometimes for Coke or Pepsi it’s hard to get
stoked. Where are the leaders who actually stand up for
what is right? Where are they? Where are you?
I
want to believe in a greater good and Order, and I do.
But faith can not result in apathy because we just
figure someone else will get around to saving the earth
from these tyrants of humanity with smiling faces and
power ties. We will die under the Green House effect if
that is our plan. Or go under ground... That’s not the
life I want for my future children, and I wonder what
kind of life they want for their children. These are men
with hearts, who live and breathe and laugh and cry like
us, but have lost their way somehow, day by day,
decision by decision. Now they are caught up in the
self-perpetuating cycle of their crony culture, out of
touch with the suffering they are heaping upon the
people. It would be different if there was nothing we
could do about it, there is. We are society, and if
enough of us decide to do anything it will happen. Not
without a lot of suffering, but it will happen.
And the paradox comes right back to look you in the
mirror. Want to change the world? You are the
instrument, before making great music, you must tune
your instrument, by working on yourself. That doesn’t
mean both can’t be simultaneous, they must be! But it
means that our actions will be an expression of who we
are, so though we strive to live the Absolute truths, it
must be done in the vehicle of Form.
America will
either completely destroy the planet, or lead the charge
from within to save it. What a paradox. Which way it
goes I do not know, but I am not optimistic to be
honest. I wish I was. This HUGE disparity between what
we are led to believe as Americans and the actual truth
makes me very cynical and untrusting of my government. I
know I'm not the only one.
Tune in, not out,
and for God’s sake don’t ever give up hope!
Syd
Gris www.opelproductions.com
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